I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
