just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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