Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize