My pussy is not your playground.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
