I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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