So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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