you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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