So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
