If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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