So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
