I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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