Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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