I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
