i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize