I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You're like the curious george of whores
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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