He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
