Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
