The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
zippers are such a cool invention
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it's like iHOP with fire
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
