I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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