Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
