i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
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just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
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I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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