Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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