we're blogging at a bar
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
