God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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