Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
