i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
