Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
