I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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