I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
