It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
