remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
