I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize