I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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