Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
