i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
