dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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