I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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