Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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