It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize