we have officially lost it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
