I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
