guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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