It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
