i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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