it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
