I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
