I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
