at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
