Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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