Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
