ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
