i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
