Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
