Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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