tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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