She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Barsexuality is the new black.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
