Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
